nullThe Internet is filled with relationships sites that offer advice, tips and articles about good and bad relationships. Some are designed for those who are new in a relationship while others are for those who have had a break up and are now making up and trying to work it out. Can these relationships sites really help you heal your relationship?
If you take the information in them and apply it, it can certainly help. There are certain types of advice that are better than others, obviously. And some relationships sites are designed to get you to buy something, with articles that really don’t even make much sense.
Avoid those sites that are too cutesy to be useful, with quizzes and articles about things like how to trick your partner, how to cheat and not get caught, and things like that. Those aren’t for people in serious relationships, or they’re just for humor.
But sites that offer good advice can be very helpful. Very often there will be message boards and forums where other people reading the same information can interact. Testimonials about how the site helped might be available.
Be sure to take those testimonials with a grain of salt, however. Some relationships sites make them up, or have other people make them up, just to look better or sell you something.
The sites that have been put up by actual relationship experts like those who have written extensively on the subject are usually best. If they counsel people in healing relationships and have some popular books, they’re at least trying to offer useful information.
But there are sites that aren’t put out by experts that can contain gold mines, too. Some might have question and answer pages or even advice columns. It can often be helpful to read about other people’s situations. This lets you see what other people did while seeing if the advice might apply to your situation, too.
Relationships sites that guarantee they can save your relationships or marriage might not be great ones. If you’ve broken up and are now back together, you know how hard it is. And for any site or person to say that your relationship can definitely be saved is deceptive.
Without knowing your particular situation, no one should ever make that promise. And in fact, even with knowing your situation in detail, there’s no guarantee that anything can make absolutely sure that everything will work out all right.
The most any websites or even experts can do is give you the tools to try. You can get advice that will give you the best possible chance of making the relationship work this time. Then it’s up to you to use the information to make it happen.
Sites that have a lot of absolute statements, like how something will make him do a certain thing or think a certain way, aren’t being realistic. Look for relationships sites that admit not everything will work just as planned, as the advice in them will be much more practical.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Stages Of A Relationship Understanding Them Makes A Difference
You’re probably not thinking about the different stages of a relationship while you’re with someone. And especially if the relationship is new or restarting after a breakup, it’s not likely on your mind. But if you understand the different stages of a relationship it can help you understand where you are and what’s yet to come.
Of all the stages of a relationship, the first stage is probably the most exciting. This is the romance stage, the beginning. There’s dating and getting to know each other, and each of you is on your very best behavior because you want to woo the other person.
This stage is often called the honeymoon period, because everything is fresh and new. Everything the other person does probably seems wonderful. You laugh at his jokes, and don’t mind the person’s flaws. In fact, you may even find his flaws endearing. Just like anything new, it can be a great deal of fun and seem adventurous.
The next two stages are the make or break stages that many couples never make it through. They account for things like very short relationships and marriages. The second stage is commonly known as the power struggle stage.
This is when the newness starts to wear off, and usually starts somewhere between six months to a year after the relationships starts. It’s during this time that things start to get serious. Everything isn’t as cute and endearing as it was in the beginning.
Each person in the relationship is trying to get his or her needs met, and they’re starting to notice where the other person falls short in doing that. If you’re in this stage, take a step back. The things you’re finding fault with in the other person are probably flaws that you have also.
If a couple can get through this stage, the relationship has a much better chance of lasting. Unfortunately, many couples try to change each other in the second stage. This leads to break-ups. Honest communication is the key to getting past it. Be understanding, and realize that you have shortcomings, too.
The third of the stages of a relationship is where you realize that you can’t change the other person, and you stop trying. If you came to that realization by talking with your partner and being understanding, then congratulations are in order!
This stage for you will be one of learning to be content with what the other has to offer and learning to take care of yourself. If the power struggle ended badly, then this is the stage where you’re likely to end the relationship.
The next stage is that of commitment. You realized you couldn’t change each other but you still made it work, and you know you want to be together. Now you can move on to a true partnership, which is the last stage.
Many couples bounce from stage 2 to 3 several times before moving on to commitment. By understanding the stages of a relationship, you’re at least aware of what’s happening and why.
Of all the stages of a relationship, the first stage is probably the most exciting. This is the romance stage, the beginning. There’s dating and getting to know each other, and each of you is on your very best behavior because you want to woo the other person.
This stage is often called the honeymoon period, because everything is fresh and new. Everything the other person does probably seems wonderful. You laugh at his jokes, and don’t mind the person’s flaws. In fact, you may even find his flaws endearing. Just like anything new, it can be a great deal of fun and seem adventurous.
The next two stages are the make or break stages that many couples never make it through. They account for things like very short relationships and marriages. The second stage is commonly known as the power struggle stage.
This is when the newness starts to wear off, and usually starts somewhere between six months to a year after the relationships starts. It’s during this time that things start to get serious. Everything isn’t as cute and endearing as it was in the beginning.
Each person in the relationship is trying to get his or her needs met, and they’re starting to notice where the other person falls short in doing that. If you’re in this stage, take a step back. The things you’re finding fault with in the other person are probably flaws that you have also.
If a couple can get through this stage, the relationship has a much better chance of lasting. Unfortunately, many couples try to change each other in the second stage. This leads to break-ups. Honest communication is the key to getting past it. Be understanding, and realize that you have shortcomings, too.
The third of the stages of a relationship is where you realize that you can’t change the other person, and you stop trying. If you came to that realization by talking with your partner and being understanding, then congratulations are in order!
This stage for you will be one of learning to be content with what the other has to offer and learning to take care of yourself. If the power struggle ended badly, then this is the stage where you’re likely to end the relationship.
The next stage is that of commitment. You realized you couldn’t change each other but you still made it work, and you know you want to be together. Now you can move on to a true partnership, which is the last stage.
Many couples bounce from stage 2 to 3 several times before moving on to commitment. By understanding the stages of a relationship, you’re at least aware of what’s happening and why.
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